I will admit that today’s main subject is one I’ve done before but frankly I overslept my alarm by nearly an hour and was going to lose the race against the clock so I went into the archives. Please understand this is tongue-in-cheek and it does apply to men as well. The title is ideas that would make the world a better place to live in (for men).

• All gutters would self-clean

• Carpentry, plumbing and electrical courses should be mandatory for all boys in middle school.

• Women would start with the climax of their stories and then go back to fill in the details, but only if we ask.

• Movie reviewers would be forbidden to call a movie “the best of the year” any time before July 1st.

• Parent-teacher nights would come with nachos and tequila shooters.

• Those little ketchup and mustard packets would be twice as big and much easier to open.

• Caddies would be prohibited from the pro golf tour. No other athlete has a butler on the field with them and the players should be able to figure out on their own what club to use.

• All base runners would score on a ground rule double.

• If you set out to climb some huge mountain wearing shorts, a tee shirt and boots but you have to be rescued by a dozen men, two helicopters and a team of huskies you get a bill for their efforts for being an idiot.

• Kate Upton would replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill.

• Singing “Happy Birthday” in the office would result in immediate termination. Apologies to our own John Finley who does this with regularity. I would give him a warning first.

• Every fifth year would be free of federal income tax and all of the following would be tax deductible. TV sports packages, alcoholic beverages, poker losses, cigars and tickets to sporting events and concerts.

One unrelated note: A shout out this morning to the Toms River Raiders Cadet team who won the American Youth Football New Jersey state title over the weekend and qualified to go to the National Championships in Orlando, Florida next month. The team is made up of 9 and 10 year olds.

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