As I’ve said before one of the first things I read when I open the Asbury Park Press are the obituaries. It’s something I’ve done for the better part of thirty years and not because I enjoy reading them but it’s simply a way to keep track of those who have been in and out of your life. A good day is one in which you don’t know anyone listed.

In recent years it’s hard not to notice the increasing number of young people whose lives end way too soon and it does not take a genius to figure out that many are the result of drug overdoses or suicide.You can often connect the dots when the person dies suddenly at home and by the message as to where donations can be made.

There have been so many people in their 20s and 30s whose names appear in the obits that I’ve almost become numb to what is clearly an epidemic. Often there is not much to say about their life because it ended way too soon. Of course it’s different when you’re reading about someone you know, someone who seemed to be always laughing and made you laugh that you can’t imagine that there life is summed up in just three short paragraphs.

Ray Oullette was just 30 years old when his life came to an end last week. He grew up in Beachwood, was part of championship baseball teams at Toms River South and was a year ahead of my son at Penn State University. They were both members of the Delta Chi Fraternity and I fondly remember those Parents Weekends when I was not sure who had more fun: the boys or parents like myself and Ray’s dad who shared the same name.

As my wife and I attended his viewing yesterday I couldn’t help but notice the pictures of Ray playing baseball at South and enjoying good times at Penn State.

His casket was surrounded by Pittsburgh Steelers memorabilia and his father was able to manage a smile when he pointed to the gold and black floral arrangement and the Roethlisberger #7 jersey. A Steeler fan to the very end.

My heart breaks for his parents Ray & Maryanne and his brother Nick, a year younger and a good friend of my son’s. It’s not supposed to be this way and a 30-year old should be thinking about the future instead of leaving family and friends to only reflect on the past.

Monday was a bad day. Today’s a bit better. I didn’t recognize any names among those in the obituaries.

 

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